After watching the documentary "The Mask of Toxic Masculinity" it opened my eyes to a harsh reality. Boys have to deal with an immense amount of pressure to be considered "tough and have thick skin". In the documentary, one of the phrases they kept repeating was "Be a man." This is

something that all boys have most likely heard throughout their lifetime. This documentary has showed me that doing this truly hurts a man's self-confidence and self-esteem as they grow older. The real question is, what does it mean to truly be a man ?

     Some would say that in order to "be a man" you have to be tough, bold, cocky, and emotionless. Growing up a boy is expected to throw a football, hit a baseball, shoot a basket, or play some type of sport. While playing sports boys are often put down by their coaches and their fellow teammates. If a boy drops a pass in football or strikes out while batting, they know to expect harsh consequences. The

coach usually yells at them or calls them a derogatory name. Doing this the coaches believe this will make them tougher or have thick skin. The ability to take the yelling "like a man" shows a sign of growth and mental toughness. However, if a boy decides playing a sport is something he does not want to do, he would be considered soft. There are countless examples of boys who grew up playing sports only so they could fit in and be friends with the guys. They were afraid of being rejected for having an interest in music rather than football. 

     One part that stood out to me in the documentary was when the counselor was doing the exercise with a group of boys. He had them write on one side of the paper what type of image or person they want others to see them as. On the other side he had them write how they actually perceive themselves. This was a powerful exercise that is so true for not only boys, but girls too. Being forced to put on a mask everyday and hide who you truly are is not a good feeling. Our society is making our boys go crazy inside. We put so much pressure on them to be successful and a "man's man" that we don't take time to consider how they feel. Next time we tell a boy to suck it up or be tough, we should consider how it will affect them in the long run!!